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A Story written by Kevin_88…

Rita sighed. “Yeah kinda. They have a weird way of helping.”

“They have a weird way of doing everything, but at least they mean well by it.”

“I could recall you saying you were getting raped by the Desperate Housewives of America…” 

“Well it wasn’t all bad,” I smiled.

She laughed as she punched me in the arm. “I would never do that to you, I couldn’t go a day without seeing you, let alone touching you, even if it’s just a kiss, I’d go crazy.”

“Like when me, dad, Chris and his dad had that day where it was just us?”

“I hated that day. That was the first time in a long time we were ever apart for that long. I didn’t know what to do with myself, if Stephanie wasn’t there I probably would’ve stayed in bed all day until you got back.

“Imagine if we’d took a week vacation…”

“Don’t even joke like that, I couldn’t make it through the week.”

“Me neither, I was trying hard not to text you every hour I was with them.”

“Me too, but I didn’t wanna be clingy, I know all guys hate that.”

“I know all guys hate that.”

“Yeah, but it’s nice every once in a while, shows your girl really cares about you.”

“Noone comes before you, if anyone told you different, F**K em.”

I laughed and fell back onto the bed, Rita following and laying her head on my chest. I put my arm around her as we lay in silence, and eventually the silence got to us and before we knew it, we nodded off. 

I slowly regained consciousness as wiped the sleep from my eyes and checked the clock, 7:14, we’d been asleep for a little more than two hours. I sat up bringing Rita me who just started to wake up too, though she woke up faster than I did.

“How long we been out?” Rita asked.

“A little over two hours. Chair is still on the door so we didn’t get molested in our sleep.”

“That’s what you think…” Rita smiled as she got up. “So what do you wanna do now?”

I thought for a second, then thought of the perfect thing. “Let’s take Tibbles for a walk.”

“Yeah that’s perfect, that way we can all stretch out legs. His stuff is still in the backyard.”

I took the chair off the door and we headed downstairs to see mom and Aunt Lisa on the couch gossiping about a tv show with Tibbles sitting in between their feet. When he saw us he popped up and ran towards us to be scooped up in Rita’s arms.

“Who’s a good boy? You behaving for the two crazy ladies?”

“Hey we heard that,” mom said as she broke from her conversation.

“Not all crazy is bad crazy, well except in your case we’ll make an exception.”

“Says the girl who F***ed her brother so hard her Kittycat was broken for three days,” mom said.

“Yeah but it was worth it,” Rita said flashing back to the day.

“So what are you doing now that you’re taking a break from s*x?” Aunt Lisa asked.

“We’re gonna take Tibbles for a walk,” I said.

“Just remember what we said Rita, we won’t hesitate to do it again.”

“Don’t try to play all tough Aunt Lisa, we know what you two were just trying to make sure I wouldn’t neglect Randy. You couldn’t just come out and say it though?”

“What fun would that have been?”

“And did you have to F**K Randy to get your point across?”

“Yes we did, it was absolutely necessary, and a lot of fun,” mom jumped in.

“Well you win some you lose some, we’re gonna walk around the block a few times, we shouldn’t be gone that long,” Rita said as we headed out the door.

“Ok. We’ll be here, eating each other’s pussies,” mom said.

I whipped my head back around not sure what they said, and they just sat there smiling at me. Rita pulled me out the door away from their trap just before I got sucked in.

“I don’t think Tibbles needs to see that,” Rita said as we turned the corner.

“We should probably get him neutered so there aren’t any Tibble Jr’s out there.”

“Nooo, I can’t do that to him, at least not while he’s still a puppy…”

“Ok, then I’ll let you tell dad when he has six kids we have to take care of.”

“Fine, you know dad won’t say no to me anyway.”

“About as much as mom won’t take no for an answer…”

“With as flirty as mom is, I’m surprised she settled down.”

“I was thinking that too, dad must have really made an impression.”

“I would’ve liked to see mom in action when she was young, Aunt Lisa too, I bet they had every boy in the state at their door trying to get a date.”

“You take after both of them, how come every boy in the state isn’t at our door trying to get a date with you?”

“Because I wouldn’t give them the time of day, you made a hell of an impression.”

“Doesn’t stop them from trying, remember Cedar Point? You got hella hit on.”

“Any girl in a bathing suit has the potential to be hit on.”

“Especially if she’s a blonde in a hello kitty bikini.”

“You have a point. Maybe I should go to the beach and…”

“No that’s ok, whatever you were gonna say that’s ok.

We’d walked the next half hour in silence just watching Tibbles jump around for no apparent reason other than he was able to. We’d paced our neighborhood and decided that was enough for the day, even though Tibbles could have walked his little legs off.

“So what do you wanna do now?” I said, not really wanting to go back home.

“I don’t know, we did so much lately I don’t know what’s left to do.”

“Maybe Stephanie and Chris know something, they did say call if we got bored.”

As I was scrolling through my contacts to find Chris’ name, Ashley called, blaring that loud ringtone for all of outside to hear, which by the way makes me look like a jackass for having that attached to someone’s name.

“What’s up Ashley.”

“Party at my house, 10:00, get over here!”

“10:00? Its not even 8:30 yet, why do we have to come now?”

“Because we have a lot of stuff to set up.”

“You have Rita’s number too, why don’t you ever call her?”

“We don’t have time for twenty one questions Randy, get a move on!”

She hung up and I clipped my phone back on the case. “Well if you didn’t hear Ashley’s having a party and we have to go help set up.”

“Well it does give us something to do, and Steph and Chris will be there, why not.”

We walked Tibbles back home and set him up in the backyard and left the door cracked so he could get in if he wanted to. Mom and Aunt Lisa were nowhere to be found, and Aunt Lisa’s car was gone, so we left a note and were in the car on the way to Ashley’s. Since Rita was driving I called Chris to give him a heads up about the incoming call from Ashley.

“Hey man, Ashley’s about to call you to come to a party at her house.”

“Yeah she already did, we’re on the way now. Apparently she felt like throwing a last minute party and called all of us to help set it up. Its ok though, I’m drinking a whole case by myself.”

“Yeah I’d like to see that, you’d pass out by the sixth beer.”

“Just for that, you gotta match me beer for beer now, loser buys lunch for a week.”

“You know what, deal? My wallet could use a break.”

Haha alright man, see you at Ashley’s.”

What the hell did I just do? I put my foot in my mouth big time is what I did. I’m such a lightweight drinker I have trouble getting through two beers, let alone having a contest with someone, but I couldn’t let him win, it’s a man pride thing, the only problem was my man pride was gonna cost me big time, literally. We pulled up to Ashley’s and saw Steph and Chris’ car already there with a few others, I still don’t know who drives what. We knocked on the door and were let in by Ashley who was directing everyone on how she wanted everything to go.

“Bout time you got here! How come you’re always the last ones to show up?”

“Because we live across town while everyone else lives like five minutes away…” I said.

“Who throws a party last minute? I was playing with my new puppy,” Rita added.

“I do, come on we have a lot to do. Randy, you and Chris are on furniture duty, Rita and Stephanie, you go and get the utensils, pop, chips, and ice, Dana and Becky you two go get the beer and liquor, and Carina you order the pizza and wings and pick it up when it’s done.”

“And while we’re running around with our heads cut off what will you be doing?”

“Supervising. Someone has to make sure everything gets done.”

“In other words, get to work slaves while I sit on my throne and watch,” Chris joked.

“House rules. Ok everyone get moving people will start showing up in an hour.”

Rita, Steph, Becky, and Dana got the money and list of stuff to get from Ashley and left while Carina called the pizza place and Chris and I were doing all the manual labor, moving couches over here, sliding tables over there, setting up coolers around the tables, moving TV’s so they were away from the food and drinks but still in the room, we were doing a lot.

“Ok, I got six pepperonis, six plain cheese, six meat lovers, and six supreme pizzas from Mikey’s, and one hundred barbeque, one hundred hot, and one hundred garlic wings from BW3. Mikey said you let him know earlier so the pizzas will be done in about forty-five minutes but the wings will be done by the time I get there,” Carina said.

“Jeez, you think that’ll be enough?” Chris joked.

“Ok that’s one area down. We’re gonna need more tables, run to the garage in the back and grab a few more foldout tables,” Ashley said to us.

“I’m eating a whole pizza by myself,” I mumbled, which I’m sure she heard.

We went to the garage and both grabbed a table each and took it in the house, then went back and grabbed one more just to be safe.

“How much is she spending on this party?” I asked Chris.

“I don’t know, twenty-four pizzas at about twelve bucks each, three hundred wings at seventy-five cents a wing, she’ll probably spend a hundred, maybe a hundred fifty on pop, chips, and ice, at least two hundred on beer and another two, maybe three hundred on liquor? She pulled out around $1200 for one party.”

“That’s a down payment on a car.”

“Not to her, that’s probably her weekly allowance as rich as her dad is.”

“Well as long as it doesn’t go to her head,” I joked as we headed back into the house.

“Ok, set those tables up next to each other against that wall and bring the other over next to them. The pizza will go on those two, the wings on those two, and the chips on those two, this one put over there, we can set the iPod dock on that one,” Ashley said directing us with a wand that she seemed to pull out of nowhere.

“Anything else your majesty?” Chris joked as we finished the setup.

“Majesty, I like that. Yeah we have nine jumbo coolers in the basement, bring them up and put two on each end of the tables and one over there by that table for the pop.”

We grabbed all the coolers and set them up as Rita and Steph got back with all the chips, pop, and ice and helped them bring it in, then loaded all the coolers with ice while they set up the chips and plates and stuff on the table. We took all the lids off the coolers and stuffed as many pops as we could in the one, and waited for everyone else to get back with their stuff since there was nothing else we could do.

“Is that what you two are wearing?” Ashley said to Rita and Steph.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with what we have on?” Steph asked.

“It’s a party, come on live a little! I have some stuff perfect for both of you.”

“No that’s ok, I’m fine with what I have on,” Rita said.

“Trust me, you’re gonna look hot, come on, we have a few minutes.”

Ashley pulled them both upstairs, leaving Chris and I by ourselves in the big empty living room.

“Don’t forget the bet Randy, beer for beer,” Chris reminded me.

“I remember, we should change it to pizza slices.”

“Nope, don’t chicken out now, you made your bed, now you gotta lie in it.”

“I got a feeling I’ll be sleeping on the floor tonight…”

They all came back downstairs in completely different outfits than they had on when they went upstairs. Rita had on black yoga pants with that shirt that hangs off your arm on purpose and small black heels, Stephanie had on a denim mini skirt with a white playboy belly shirt and flip flops, and Ashley also had on a denim mini skirt but had on a tiny “Love Pink” shirt that clung to her body, also in flip flops. Needless to say both Rita and Steph looked different, but damn good.

“I don’t think I have anything like this in my closet,” Rita said as they walked up to us.

“Neither do I, I’ve never worn a belly shirt in my life,” Stephanie said.

“You should more often, it looks good on you,” Chris smiled.

Before she could say anything Dana came through the door holding two big grocery bags.

“The rest is in the car, and Carina is back with the food, we could use some help.”

We all went outside and helped bring everything in and set it up. All the liquor and beer she bought barely managed to fit into the coolers, but we got it done, and when the pizza and wings were set up, I took a few slices of the meat lovers and some hot wings and sat down in the corner to eat while we waited for the party to start, which got me a staredown from Ashley.

“Think of it as payment for all that manual labor,” I said as I stuffed my face.

As I was finishing up the last of my food people started to show up, then more people, then before we knew it, the place was packed. There were wall to wall people with either a beer in their hand or a shot glass getting tipped back, and then refilled. The music was blasting and everyone was on the floor dancing, everyone except for us.

“WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE WENT TO A PARTY LIKE THIS?” I yelled over the music.

“NEVER! NOONE WE KNOW WOULD SPEND THEIR LIFE SAVINGS ON A PARTY!” Rita said back.

Stephanie and Chris walked over to us, Chris with two beers, and Stephanie with two shot glasses, I got the beer and Rita got the shot glass of course.

“ITS CALLED INCREDIBLE HULK, EVERYONE SAYS ITS REALLY GOOD,” Stephanie said.

That was all Rita needed to try it, she and Stephanie tipped their heads back and emptied the glass in one go, but they still made that face you make when you kill a shot. 

“I KNOW YOU REMEMBER OUR BET RANDY. BEER FOR BEER. YOU’RE OT GETTING OUT OF THIS, NOT BY A LONG SHOT,” Chris yelled holding up his beer.

“YOU MADE A BEER BET WITH HIM? YOU KNOW YOU’RE GONNA LOSE RIGHT? CHRIS CAN DRINK BEER LIKE ITS WATER,” Stephanie yelled.

“AS HE’S ABOUT TO FIND OUT. COME ON, DRINK UP MAN!”

I took the beer from him and took a big sip of it, cringing up my face as I now remembered why I never go to drinking beer in the first place, the Sh*t was nasty. Chris gave me that half smile like he already knew he won the bet, which ticked me off a little, but there was nothing I could do, I wasn’t gonna chug that nasty Buttocks beer and risk throwing up in the process. The four of us stayed in that same spot the entire time the party was going on, occasionally moving to get more food or more drinks, but yeah, we were glued to that spot. Everyone around us was doing something remotely S#xual, people were flirting, kissing, on the dance floor grinding on each other, we even saw a few couples disappear holding hands. Becky was among the ones kissing as she was sitting in some guys lap as he felt her up, but we couldn’t tell what anyone else was doing because we couldn’t find them, until we saw Ashley walking right towards us.

“REALLY GUYS? YOU’RE GONNA STAY IN THAT SAME SPOT AND BE BUZZKILLS ALL NIGHT?”

“WE’RE NOT REALLY THE PARTY TYPE,” Rita said.

“WELL TONIGHT YOU ARE! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE UNTIL YOU HAVE COMSUMED AT LEAST SIX BEERS OR TWELVE SHOTS, OR BOTH. I WILL NOT HAVE ANY WALLHUGGERS AT MY PARTY! GET SOME DRINKS, GET WASTED, NOW!”

She walked, no she danced away while not spilling a single drop of her shot. We all looked at each other to gauge if her words left their mark on any of us.

“YOU KNOW WHAT GUYS, SHE’S RIGHT, IT’S A PARTY, WE MIGHT AS WELL GET CRAZY STUPID! ITS NOT LIKE WE’RE GONNA SEE THESE PEOPLE AGAIN ANYWAY,” Stephanie said.

“I GUESS SO. WHAT THE HECK, LETS GET WHITE GIRL WASTED!” Rita said.

“HEY, WE DON’T HAVE TO GET THAT MESSED UP, I WANNA REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED!”

“THEN LETS GET CHOCOLATE WASTED!” Rita yelled almost over the music.

“I LIKE IT! SIX SHOTS OF WHATEVERS OVER THERE COMING UP!” Chris said.

We walked to the drinks area and poured them each a shot of tequila, vodka, whiskey, hypnotiq, bicardi, and Hennessey, and grabbed a few beers for ourselves. Ashley saw us with everything and excitedly nodded her approval before she went back to dancing. 

“OK, YOU TWO MATCH EACH OTHER WITH SHOTS AND RANDY AND I WILL MATCH EACH OTHER WITH BEER, AND SEE WHOS THE FIRST TO START FEELING IT,” Chris said.

“YOU KNOW WE WILL! WE’RE DRINKING SHOTS, YOU HAVE BEER, THAT’S NOT EVEN CLOSE, BUT WHO CARES, IT’S A PARTY!” Stephanie said.

“OK RANDY, ON THREE, WE CHUG, THEN WE GO TO THE NEXT ONE, AND SO ON,” Chris said.

I nodded as I picked up the beer I’d been working on the whole night. The girls picked up their shots and killed them one by one, and with some strong encouragement, and will power, I matched Chris as we downed three beers back to back to back. While we were drinking the song “Shots” came on, and everyone in the party cheered and poured themselves one, Ashley had everyone hold their shot glass up and count to three, then knock it back. I had to admit, I was having a blast, and so was everyone else around me. The four of us grabbed another shot for each hand and downed them right in front of everyone, who cheered as we were now the center of attention. I could feel the effects of all the alcohol finally start to take effect to the point where I was starting to get blurry vision, but by the looks of it everyone else seemed fine, in face, its like no one was affected at all but me.

“ARE YOU GUYS STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE FUNNY?” I asked while I could still talk normal.

“NOPE, NOT IN THE LEAST, I DRINK WITH MOM ALL THE TIME, THIS IS NOTHING,” Steph said.

“ME TOO, YOU KNOW FIRST HAND HOW MUCH MOM AND AUNT LISA DRINKS, I’M ALL BUT IMMUNE TO IT NOW,” Rita added.

“DAD AND I GO THROUGH AT LEAST THREE CASES A WEEK EASY, SORRY MAN, I GUESS YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHOSE FEELING FUNNY,” Chris followed.

“Sh*t. NOW I’M JUST A SHOT AWAY FROM DOING SOMETHING STUPID,” I said.

“LIKE MAKING OUT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?” Steph asked.

I started to say something, but then I caught on to what she said just before she grabbed me and gave me a big wet kiss right in the middle of the floor. My alcohol ridden body couldn’t fully handle her body weight working against me and I slowly dropped to the floor, but Stephanie didn’t let the whole time, she followed me the whole way down, even laid on top of me as we made out in front of everyone.

“WHAT THE HELL,” I heard Rita say, then a few seconds later she and Chris were right next to us on the floor. We weren’t doing anything but kissing, but everyone around us were cheering.

“HELL YEAH, ORGY ON THE DANCE FLOOR!” some random guy shouted.

“DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!” a crowd of people started chanting, which signaled it was time to cut our public make out session short.

We got up off the floor (me taking longer than everyone else) to everyones disappointment and went back to our spot, drinks in hand, with Ashley close behind us.

“SEE! NOW THAT’S HOW YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME! THIS PLACE WOULD’VE EXPLODED IF YOU GUYS STARTED HAVING s*x IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR!” Ashley yelled over the music.

“ITS GONNA TAKE A HELL OF A LOT OF DRINKS JUST FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT HAVING s*x HERE, AND ANOTHER SIX TO ACTUALLY GO ALONG WITH IT,” Stephanie said.

“GO DRINK A DIZZY BOMBER, ITS TWENTY SHOTS IN ONE, DRUNK IN MINUTES!”

“THAT’S NOT AS FUN AS GETTING DRUNK THE OLD FASHIONED WAY!” Rita said.

“BUT ITS JUST AS EFFECTIVE. IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, IT’S THE BRIGHT RED ONES, THE ORANGE ONES ARENT TOO BAD EITHER, BUT THEY’RE NOT AS STRONG AS THE RED ONES.”

Ashley walked away and we all started laughing for no apparent reason.

To Be Continued…

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