A Story written by Kevin_88…

“Lets go back on the ice, that way at least I can skate away,” Chris said awkwardly.

Without waiting for confirmation, he was back on the ice as we were putting back on those heavy skates, it would take a while to get used to them again, not to mention being able to actually skate in them. We were out there for a little longer than last time taking more pictures and chasing each other around the rink, and Stephanie accidentally reenacted the video clip where the lady screwed up the national anthem then added insult to injury and fell on the ice before walking away in shame, needless to say when Stephanie did that very thing that was it for ice skating for the day, lucky for her we were the only ones who saw it, with Chris laughing all the way back to the carpet.

“Whose idea was it to go stupid ice skating anyway,” Stephanie said while removing her skates.

“Umm yours, I wanted to go to that candy factory that just opened up,” Chris said.

“Maybe we still can, it doesn’t close until seven.”

“Its 6:10, and we still have to drive there.”

“If we hurry up we can at least look around.”

“We gotta go now then, you guys coming?” Chris asked looking at us.

We didn’t know anything about a candy factory that opened up, but hey, we liked candy, and it was somewhere we haven’t been, so what the hell. I looked at Rita who just like almost any other time was thinking the same thing I was, the twin thing never gets old. “Uh sure, we’ll follow you guys there.”

We got our shoes back on and in no time were in our car following them to this candy factory, which we would be at sooner than later since Chris was flying down the street trying to get there with as much time to spare as possible. When we finally did get there (with thirty minutes to spare), we went inside and almost literally lost our breath, the place was huge! They had every kind of candy imaginable, chocolate, gum, caramel, taffy, everything. If it was ever made it was here, they even had the Willy Wonka bars. We didn’t know where to start, so everybody split up and went to a different side of the factory, with me heading towards the gum. There was the big league chew, breath freshening gum, gum inside candy, chiclets, bubble tape, bazooka joe, all kinds, but I grabbed a big bag of gumballs and went to see what else the store had. I met up with Rita who had gotten herself a basket and filled it with every kind of chocolate you could think of… candy bars, chocolate covered pretzels, hershey’s kisses, gourmet chocolate, and that’s only what I could see.

“Yeah I know, but who knows when we’ll be back, I need enough to last until we do, and plus mom and dad like gourmet chocolate,” Rita said when I eyed her big basket of candy.

“And all I got was a bag of gumballs…” I sulked. I was definitely going to change that.

We went through the rest of the store, meeting up with Chris and Stephanie a short while later each with their own baskets filled more than halfway up, my basket was looking way undersized. I decided to start picking up everything I remember having as a kid, to things I just happen to have a taste for, to things that were just too cheap to pass up, and a lot of the stuff was cheap. By the time we finished grabbing candy it looked like we went trick or treating five times, and still had some left over. With five minutes to go we all rang our candy up together, which came up to $137.93, which was ridiculous for four people, but no one put anything back. We had so much candy we qualified for a discount, and we needed it since we weren’t gonna be buying candy for a long while. I still don’t know what we were thinking spending that much on candy, heat of the moment thing I guess. We all chipped in and paid for the candy and were out the door about two minutes before they were supposed to close.

“This should last me about three days,” Chris said opening up a candy bar.

“And your teeth will last you about three weeks if you eat all that stuff now,” Stephanie followed.

“I’m not listening to you Tip TWISTER who has more stuff than all of us combined!” Chris said through a mouth full of candy bar.

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t tell you. Anyway, what are you guys gonna do now?” Stephanie asked us.

“We don’t know, just been kind of a “whatever happens” kind of a day,” I said.

“We could go for a walk, look at the neighborhood a little bit. You guys wanna come?” Rita asked.

“Uhhh no thanks, I did enough walking, and skating, and falling for one day,” Stephanie replied.

“Enough for five days,” Chris joked.

“Keep making fun of me…”

“Or what? I still cant feel my Tips, what else are you gonna do to me?”

“Then I’ll just have to twist something else,” Stephanie said looking down at Chris’ crotch.

“If you even think about going near there I’ll…”

“Oh you don’t want me to go near there again? Ok if that’s what you want,” she grinned.

“Wait what? What are you…”

“Fine with me. We’ll see you guys later. Come on Chris, I wanna go home and paint my toenails.”

Chris stood there a little dumfounded as Stephanie walked away with a little pep in her step. “Hey man, what the hell just happened?”

“Pretty much you just agreed to never have S£x with her again,” I said.

“Like hell I did, see you guys later,” Chris said taking off after Stephanie.


“What was that for?” I asked.

“For Chris, I guarantee hes gonna be painting her toes tonight if he wants S£x.”

“You’re that sure?”

“After everything that went on today, I’d bet a million dollars.”

“Sucks to be him,” I thought as we walked back to our car to put the two big bags of candy in the trunk. We set off on the path opposite which we came and walked down the street.

“So how’s the day going for you so far?” I asked.

“Perfect, even with all the falling at the ice place.”

“And its still not even over yet, still got over four hours left.”

“That’s why I volunteered to go walking, we were getting short on time and I knew Stephanie and Chris weren’t gonna wanna go walking anywhere.”

“I see mom passed some of her traits on to you,” I joked.

“She gave you just as much. I still cant believe you set mom up like that at the beach yesterday, that was down right…mom. That was exactly something she would do.”

“I know, I had to think like her, I couldn’t let her pull that out of her Buttocks and beat us at our own game.”

“I don’t think I ever wanted to Fork you more than that moment.”

“I noticed, I was sinking down into the sand you were Bleeping me so hard.”

“But you liked it,” she said smiling as she said it.

I paused a minute to give her the illusion I had to think about it, and when she looked at me I smiled big. “Yeah I did. I’m gonna trick mom more often if you’re gonna Fork me like that.”

“Don’t bet on it, we got lucky a few times, but after yesterday, moms gonna be on her A game.”

“Well at least we made em count, but I still we can get her a couple more times.”

We walked in silence for a while just holding hands and checking out the scenery, until Rita spotted one of her favorite places, well used to be. “They have a java juice over here? What the hell! I thought they closed them all down.”

“Just the one on our side of town, something about relocating.”

“That sucks! Why would they do that? That’s just dumb.”

“Actually if you think about it, it works out better for us,” I said sounding upbeat.


“Because now we have a reason to be on this side of town more, without having to rely on Stephanie and Chris for a cover, especially if we wanted it to be just us. I mean yeah its gonna be hell on gas, but in the end it’ll be worth it. And noone would question it because they all know how much you love java juice, well did until they closed down, so now we have this in our back pocket.”

She looked up at me and smiled. “You don’t fool me, you’re just trying to get some tonight.”

“Is it working?” I smiled back.

“I’ll let you know, but first we need to get something to eat, I’m starving.”

“Oh yeah I almost forgot, you know that restaurant MELT that just opened?”

“Yeah the one that’s almost impossible to get in without a reservation?”

“Yeah that one, mom gave us her and dad’s reservations to go.”

“She did? Why?”

“She just gave them to me, since they’re going shopping, she didn’t wanna waste the reservation.”

She was still skeptical. “We’re talking about mom here Randy. There’s gotta be a catch.”

“She just gave it to me, she wanted to show shes still our mother I guess.”

“Well if that’s the case then ok, she is still our mother, I just forgot it with everybody sleeping together and all. That was nice of mom, I love her,” Rita perked up.

“Now that I think about it she did hug me real tight and say remember she did this for us next time I decide to leave her unsatisfied.”

“That Bytch, I knew she had some ulterior motives.”

“This can all be settled with some mom on daughter jello wrestling.”

“You’d love that wouldn’t you?”

“Every minute. The two hottest women on the planet going at it in a bowl of dessert, classic,” I said now getting an image of it in my head.

“So whos the hottest?”

“Huh,” I said, Rita snapping me back to reality.

“You said the two hottest women on the planet, who’s the hottest?”

“Oh no, I’m not walking into that trap!”

“Its not a trap, I just wanna know who you think is the hottest.”

“You wouldn’t get mad if I didn’t pick you?”

“So you think mom is hotter?”

“See that’s why I can’t answer that, its an unfair question. Mom is beyond beautiful, we both know that, and she birthed you, who is just as beautiful as mom is, just younger. How do you decide there? You both have qualities the other doesn’t have, like moms a milf, a dancer, and has huge breasts, you’re a vixen, in incredible shape, and have an amazing Buttocks, and you both have flawless faces, its completely impossible to choose, but having to pick, I would pick you just for the fact that I’m in love with you.”

“Awwwwwwwwww! You’ve been thinking about it haven’t you?”

“I thought it might come up one day, but I still didn’t know how to respond to it, that just came out.”

“Well it came out perfect. So I’m a vixen huh? I would’ve thought you’d say girl next door.”

“I was gonna, but I didn’t know how you’d take that.”

“Yeah. Ok I think we’ve walked far enough for now, I’m starving! Lets go eat.”

“Ok, we got thirty minutes to make our reservations, good thing we started walking back to the car or we might’ve missed it. Mom would’ve been pissed.”

“Well lets go, she doesn’t need any more excuses to Fork you.”

“You’re cute when you’re jealous,” I said, getting a half smile from Rita. The best things always happens when Rita gets jealous; angry S£x, make up S£x, quickie S£x, anal S£x… if things keep going down that path I might have to make her jealous more often…

We walked the rest of the way back to the car, turned on the gps from her phone so we could find the quickest way there and were off. The gps took us down streets we wouldn’t normally go down but we seemed to be moving along fast so I was ok with it, not to mention we saw some more places we might wanna visit later, like the aquarium, or the mini-golf place, or comedy club, man this side of town has everything, looks like we’ll be spending a lot more time over here.

When we finally arrived at the restaurant it was exactly as we expected it to be, packed. The line was going around the corner. We got there with five minutes to spare and hurried in before they even had a chance to give our table away. There were two lines, one full of people and one that had one couple in it, we figured the one with the one couple was the reservation line and went to it just as the other couple were leaving to go sit down.

“Good evening and welcome to MELT, may I have your name please,” the host said.

“Yeah, Stevens, table for two please,” I said trying to sound older than I was.

He scanned the paper for a while, making us think that we weren’t on the list, then perked up at the last minute. “Ahh here we are, Stevens for two. May I see your ID’s please?”

We looked at him weird, having never been asked to show ID in a restaurant before.

“Its to make sure you are who you say you are, people will do anything for a table here.”

“Oh ok,” I said as we pulled out our ID’s and showed them to him. “The food is that good that people will go through all that trouble just for a table?”

“Believe it or not. We’ve had someone try to impersonate Lady Gaga down to the tee. The hair, the makeup, the clothes, the whole nine, even those crazy shoes she wears.”

“Wow,” we both laughed. “Well we should get in and see what all the fuss is about,” Rita said.

“Not a problem. Your table is the one by the window in the fourth row, are you fine to get there or would you like me to escort you there?”

“You’d better escort us, I don’t wanna get kicked out for sitting at the wrong table,” I said.

“Wouldn’t be the first time it happened,” he laughed. “Ok, right this way.”

He walked us through the crowd of tables until we reached ours, which showed a great view out of the window we were sat next to. The host helped Rita sit down before handing us two menus and heading back to his podium in front of the restaurant.

“Ok, it is a little classy with the tables and the view, but everything else seems normal,” Rita said.

I looked down at my menu to see what she was talking about and got it almost right away, the food was pretty normal for a restaurant. They had steaks, pasta, seafood, salads, and even burgers, they had burgers! A lot of people here weren’t even dressed up, they were casual, but it costs you an arm and a leg to get in, must be some pretty damn good food.

“You figure out what you want?” I asked.

“Yep. Everything looks so good, but I don’t wanna be greedy.”

“It all does look good. We can get something different each time we come.”

“If we can ever get back in,” Rita laughed.

“All the tables aren’t even being used, and all those people are still waiting outside.”

“I guess they’re getting all the people with reservations in first, then everyone else.”

“Yep, because they’re starting to let some of them in. How did we not hear about this place?”

“Because we were too busy sneaking around and Bleeping each other silly to notice,” she grinned.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that,” I laughed.

We talked for a few more minutes then a waitress made her way through the tables and right to ours. “Hi I’m Kristen and I’ll be your waitress this evening. Have you decided on what to eat?”

Rita looked at her a second longer than usual and checked her menu again before responding. “Yeah I think I wanna try the 16oz. Sirloin steak, well done, with the baked potato and corn on the cob.”

“And for you sir?”

“I’ll have the same except in place of corn on the cob I’ll have macaroni and cheese,” I laughed.

“Something I said sir?”

“Yeah you keep calling me sir, sounds like you’re talking to my father.”

“They make us say it to everyone, makes me feel weird too.”

“Well you can skip us, just call me Randy, and this is Rita.”

“Nice to meet you, I’ll just take those menus and be back as soon as your food is ready.”

“Ok thanks,” I said as she took the menus and walked away, then turned to look at Rita giving me the eye (the look women give you when they think you’re up to something).


“I saw you flirting with her, you’re not slick.”

“Me? What about you staring at her chest like she didn’t have a shirt on?”

“You can’t prove it.”

“I was sitting right here!”

“Nope, not good enough, you lose.”

“I’m eating your corn on the cob.”

“Then I’m eating your steak.”

“How is that an even trade?”

“Because it… ooooooh nice try, trying to get me to change the subject.”

“Dammit, well it it almost worked, you’re just too smart for me.”

“Sarcasm won’t work either.”

“Ok then I’m smarter.”

“No I’m… you sneaky bastard,” she laughed.

“I try. So what do you think Chris and Stephanie are doing?”

“Besides each other? Stephanie’s getting a fresh pedicure as we speak.”

“You girls are evil for doing that, using S£x as a weapon.”

“Guys shouldn’t make it so easy then.”

“I think I’m gonna start doing that. I get what I want or no S£x for you.”

“You already get what you want. How does that sound, “have S£x with me or I won’t have S£x with you”, really Randy?” Rita laughed.

“Its not always about S£x you nympho, I could’ve been talking about video games or something.”

“But we both know you weren’t.”

“I coulda been.”

“But you weren’t.”

“Punk.” Yeah, great comeback.

We messed around for a little while longer then the waitress came to our table with our food, and man, it looked about as perfect as you could make food look. The steaks were huge, plump, and juicy, the baked potatoes was cooked perfectly, her corn on the cob looked good and my macaroni and cheese looked right out of a tv spot.

“Here you are guys, hope you enjoy,” Kristen said as she sat both plates down.

“This looks amazing,” I said eagerly.

“That’s what everyone says their first time here, which is why this place is so popular.”

“We might have to order some to go,” Rita followed.

“Yeah they say that too, well I’ll let you guys enjoy your food, flag me if you need anything.”

She smiled as she walked to another table and we looked down at our gorgeous plate of food like we hadn’t eaten in days, not wasting any time and going right in to the best plate of food we’d ever had. The steak was so juicy and perfectly cooked it felt like S£x for your mouth. We were eating so fast we almost forgot to savor the food, so about halfway through we finally slowed down to enjoy it.

“We definitely have to come back here, dad NEVER made a steak this good!” Rita said.

“I know! I don’t know how they do it but we’re definitely coming back.”

“And to think Stephanie and Chris knew about this place and didn’t say anything, just wait till the next time we see them.”

“What’s gonna happen?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll think of something, nothing Sekxual if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“Why does it always have to be S£x first?”

“Because you’re a guy and guys always think S£x first.”

“That’s a stereotype, like if I was to say all girls think money first.”

“Not all women are goldiggers…”

“And not all men are dicks…”

“But men have more labels on them than women.”

“What! That’s a horrible lie!”

“Really? Name one stereotype women have that has nothing to do with S£x.”

“They can’t drive worth a damn.”

“Everyone says that, not true. Pick another.”

“The blonde.”

“Definitely not true, sometimes. Pick another.”

“They shop way too much.”

“We do not!”

“Where’s mom and Aunt Lisa at right now?”

“That’s just a coincidence.”

“They went shopping five times this week, its Tuesday!”

“Women love to shop, is that a crime?”

“It should be. You never stick to your plans.”

“What do you mean “stick to our plans?”

“Ok, if a man says hes going to the store to buy a pair of shoes, he goes to the mall, goes to the store with the shoes he wants, and he BUYS A PAIR OF SHOES AND LEAVES! CASE CLOSED! If a woman says shes going to the store to buy a purse she goes to the mall, goes into every store on the way to the purse and buys everything, go buy the purse, then go shopping some more.”

“That is completely wrong.”

“No its not and you know it. Man, go to mall for shoes, 38 minutes, $75, leaves with shoes, period. Woman, go to mall for purse, 4 hours and 17 minutes, leaves with four new outfits comma, new ipod case comma, three pairs of flip flops comma, a hat that someone famous was wearing that they just had to have comma, PURSE… comma, not period, a bajillion new wrist things comma, new makeup comma, and finish off with getting something just because it was on sale, now period.”

To Be Continued…

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