A Story Written By MoneySoldier…
FEAR

Here I was,in the sitting room in front of my Dad and Mum; I had summoned them earlier that I had something to tell them, I had come to the conclusion that the best thing was to let them know, one thing was for sure, even if I couldn’t tell them the truth I wanted and was willing to tell them something close to the truth, I felt it was safer and better that way, I had made up my mind, no going back. I could see the tension in my mums face, I guess she would be wondering what was so important I had to say, I had never in my life summoned them for a meeting before, so for me to have done that, it has got to be something really serious, my Dad sat at his favourite corner, legs crossed, waiting for me to spill what I had out, but only if they knew how critical and how crazy what I was going to tell them ll hit them, I was trembling where I was, even if I had summoned little courage to face them, I seriously didn’t know where or how to start, and before I knew it, tears was rolling down my cheek, cos I know I had messed up big time, when the tears started rolling, that was when they knew how serious it was,
“Nwachukwu, ( she called out my name in Igbo, meaning God’s Son ) what is it?, ke me ni?(Meaning what happened in Kwale, her native dialet), ke ne me e (meaning what is wrong with you), as she came close to share my sit with me
________________________FLASH BACK_____________________ 

I left Eddy’s place to the park as soon as he broke the news to me that evening about the School Security coming to look for me, how did they get to know about me?, I seriously do not know, all I could think of was Cynthia’s neighbour that saw me that faithful day, maybe she told them something, I sincerely do not know, the only idea that came to my head was to run. I had nothing else on my mind rather than leave town, I couldn’t face my Brothers for fear of the unknown and I couldn’t afford getting caught by school security, so the only option I had left was run. I took nothing with me as I was leaving town, except for the boxers, black round neck inner wear and the jean trousers I was wearing, leaving the rest things have got behind, my apartment and everything in it, my life was more important than mere properties, lent a thousand naira from Eddy cos back then N750 was enough to see me through from Abraka to Benin, and hurriedly left to the park. Even at the park, I was restless, I just couldn’t wait for the bus to leave, my eyes gazing around consistently, from one end of the road to another, one word, ‘FEAR’, I wasn’t ready to face the consequences or punishment that was chasing me, deep down inside me, I was praying, 
“God just keep me safe and see me through in one peace out of town and I swear to never return again”
I knew nothing was ever going to make me go back to Delsu again, my leaving town was for good, I was so restless to the extent, if I had enough money on me, I would have paid for a few empty sits, just so the driver could take off. It took a while that evening before we finally had complete passengers, that moment was one of the scariest moments of my life, have heard of cultist who where killed at the park while trying to leave town, I just didn’t want to get caught, the fact that I had already shamed my parents was enough, when there’s life, then there’s hope, and when there’s hope, other things ll fall into place.
I hardly could breath,I was choking where I was, not till the driver left Abraka completely, that was when I finally had relieve. In the bus, as it journeyed to Benin City, I was thinking about my life, and the silly mistakes have made, was every single thing worth it?, where do I start from?, when my mates ll be graduating the following year and serving the upper year, what ll I tell my parents, and they have been so proud of me, are they worth the pain?, where did they go wrong to have made me disappoint them like this?, they gave me everything any son or daughter could ever ask for, love, support, they weren’t that wealthy, but I never lacked a thing, they sent me money more than I asked for, they did definitely everything just to make their only child happy, but this is how I pay them back, where they worth the pain?, as I thought about my mistakes, I was dripping tears right inside the bus, cos I was clueless at that point in time of what to do with my life, or where to start from, the bigger pain was that they brought me up well, I only just chose the wrong path for myself, no one forced me.
Just like yesterday, I remember when I use to sing and play the Piano in Church and from where I stood, I could see the smile on my mums face, we even wink at eachother sometimes when our eyes jam, she was so proud of me, sometimes after Church services, when we are home, she tells me and my Dad of how other women praise her in Church about having a son that is worth 10 sons, and I see how proud she says it, and I remember those days when she sees me off on my way to School, saying those words,

“Don’t join cult ooo”
And I ll always reply
“I dey mad?, do I have that time?, abeg my parents brought me up well, I no even get the mind”
My Dad could manage the news, just that I doubted if he ll ever forgive me, but my Mum? Damn!,’ sweet Mum I wish I listened to you, am sorry, I was just a young naïve boy, who had never tasted absolute freedom before, I got the freedom and over explored it, my intentions weren’t to hurt you, I wronged you bad, real bad, please forgive me’
The deed had been done, so the only thing left was to man up and face what was next squarely. Just to avoid prying eyes, and to make sure words don’t linger to my parents unexpectedly cos that ll break them down, I had to avoid all family members, Aunts, Uncles and cousins residing in Benin, I had just one place in my mind to hide my head for the time being, and that place was Joel’s place, he was a close friend, resides in the same hood in Lagos, I had visited him like three to four times in Benin, he was a Diploma student as at that time, and we both wrote Post UME at UNIBEN years before, just that we both didn’t get admitted, before my Delsu admission clicked. It was the safest I thought of at that moment, and I trusted him cos he knew how to keep his mouth shut, and besides that, apart from needing a place to hide my head, I needed advice from whoever ll give it to me, but this advice can only come when I open up, and the only person I knew I could open up to was this guy. I knew him well from our secondary school days, so I needed to tell him, cos I couldn’t go through all the agony, regrets and pain on my own, I might just end up rolling a rope around my neck, the pains was that much, what about the shame?, I might just end up making a bigger mess if I had done things on my own, I was just 20 plus. After I touched Ring Road Benin, I still had enough change to take me to Ugbowo, Uwasota Junction. I took a bus, and headed to his place.
To Be Continued…

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