Must Read: Na So You Bad Reach???

imageWritten by Foxybone…

Kai, having read all this stories and all them girls write-up, I began thinking in my head, what if I wasn’t giving my girlfriend enough ffuucck right now, would she go and ffuucckk someone else? shocked shocked Yesu….. I dey fear ooo… Though me no dey faithful in the sense of fucckking only one toto but na only she me love sha… A man is polygamous in nature so una no fit blame me. Make una just dey hail me so my head go dey big but if I give another girl belle carry am come talk for here, make una no condemn me oooooo grin grin grin grin….

Me don dey work for another organization for Abuja and I been don yan una that one before, I believe say some people fit don see me but them no know say na me be foxybone… Even people for office dey follow me but them no know say na me and I never ready to tell them jor. grin grin grin
As I comot from inside office that fateful afternoon make I go buy recharge card and after that go chop food for one buka close to office na (if I call the name, person fit know) na so I jam this babe for the recharge card joint, she ma wan buy card but this time no be the first time wey me dey see am. I just look her bakassi wey she dey carry gimme sleepless day each time I sight am. Na so I blow whistle enter air come stare as the shape of her pant come show for the short black skirt wey she wear. Na so my stupid diicckk just nod im head, choi, the penniss no go disgrace me one day oo.
“Abeg gimme MTN for N750”
I tell the recharge card girl using the coolest voice wey I fit muster take count the words. Na so the babe turn look me na so I turn my face like say another thing catch my attention while I just jump dey dance ajasco for my mind. Kai… If I hear say na N750 recharge card I wan buy, I go carry that thing go sell to my oga jor. angry angry
“Bros see am o.”
I just hear the ugly recharge card girl tell me.
“Thank you. You boyfriend suppose hold you tight o, you na wife material you be”
Na so I tell the babe come turn dey go dey laugh for my mind grin, wife material indeed, if you dash her to me, I go carry am do blood money I swear.
I just waka jejely go wear them dey sell food come siddon, na so I wan order Akpu and Afang soup the same babe come follow me waka enter the buka ma. Which kind devil dey send this one na, na so I come dey vex small small for my mind.
“Waiter, please bring me white soup, rice with plantain and a bottle of malt to go with it.”
Yesu, I turn glutton immediately while my pocket just dey cry. Na me wan spend N1,200 so because of say I wan impress person wey I never even talk to. 
As I finish make my order na so the babe just carry her busy body from where she been stand dey look for seat come siddon close to me. Na so I carry eye look down come see as her yellow laps just dey stare me for my face. Chei!! How I wan carry talk to this fine sisi now, I begin rack my brain for how I go carry start.
“Please bring me garri and vegetable soup”
Na so she tell waiter wey drop my food for table. Kai… So na wetin she wan chop na im me dey shame to chop akpu. Wey I for just manage my money wey no go reach me do transport go house na cry cry cry
The vex just make me bone dey eat my food, just dey use the fork and knife wey I no even dey use to.
“How do you enjoy this combination?”
Na so she throw me the question. Men!!! See falling hands, say na bad combination be this abi wetin you dey yarn sef angry
“You should try it someday, experience they say surpasses stories”
I answer her back. Na only her sabi English ne undecided
“I already did that, had to go for check up after I could not control my stooling for days”
She come answer. See this woman dey talk of wey me dey chop.
“Sorry about that, we all have different metabolism, mine prefers something like this because of the kind of work I do.”
My bad mind come urge me forward:
“You know how it is when you stay up at night doing what you are supposed to be doing in the gym during the day”
Na so she come laugh as she understand where I dey drive go. Na so me just concentrate on my food dey chop like no man’s business while my head dey calculate how I wan carry ask her her name and phone number.
“Hey… Are you gonna finish all that?”
She come ask like bollor angry
“Why not, I paid full money for it so I’m going to eat to my fill. I don’t joke with my stomach.”
I answer her as I dey drink the water of the white soup.
“You are funny”
She say as she dey laugh. I resemble basket mouth neh? The last time wey I check, him get dada and big mouth while I fair come get slim lip tongue tongue
“I will take that as a compliment.”
I answer as I comot money from pocket dey pay the waiter, come use style comot my complimentary card ma drop am for table for her.
“You may holla at me.”
I tell her as I begin waka, dey form big boy. cool cool cool

To Be Continued….

Next Episode
Updated: Feb 20, 2017 — 5:30 pm

The Author

Tosin SilverDam

Tosin Silver Dam, a mass communication graduate/BSc Holder, actor, ex publisher, publicist, writer and I rock things a lot #majah Email:, whatsapp: 08080664675, BBM: 5C350257

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