A short story written by OLADOKUN ABDUL WISDOM THRONEKID, (08179202689 or Abdulhakeemthronekido@gmail.com)…

I carried my Modernised bag popularly called Leather box by we Nigerians with a very big showing of anger. I stamped outside almost falling head over heels due to my clumsy mode of moving. I droppped the bag outside and quickly moved back into the little bungalow I came out from. My mind was boiling with fury and my entire body system was convulsing with anger.

“Puh pur pur,” I heard the irritable horning of Baba Tolu’s (a neigbour would call him My husband and I would have too a few hours ago) rickety and smoking Car ( like that beetles my Dad onced use on the farm ) as I dropped another bag ( a Ghana-must-go ) outside.
The Car horned irritatingly and seemingly alarmly again and I felt like rushing at the Damned driver and sink my sharp cute teeth into his flesh, his thick fleshy manhood in particular and tear him apart ruthlessly. [i]Vampire diaries thing![/i]

“Iya Tolu! Iya Tolu!” I heard him calling out and he ran towards me with the type of agility he was renowned for only while on Bed with Me. [i]That guy na certified beast! If he hold you… Ehn…[/i]

“Kilode? ( whats happening? )” he inquired and spread his hands like a docile lambs’, obviously surprised by the ongoing drama. “Are you deaf?” he toned out in english with his perfectly cloned italian accent providing the needed assortment when I refused to answer him.

I looked at him with a high volume of exaggerated anger. He was still dressed in the grey gatored suit he worn out earlier, while going to his ‘accounting’ firm. [i]Accounting gan ni![/i] A new surge of anger weaved into my body and I felt like stranggling him with the long black tie he hung on his neck.

”Hei!” he shouted and grabbed my arm agilely ( a little painful though ), ”I said whats wrong!” he barked.
”Okay!” I shouted back at him- I had had enough. ”Where do you work?” I fired and I thought I saw his eyes lit up confusedly. ”What do you mean by that? Are we strangers?” he shouted, with his eyes now bloodshot like. [i]Imagine the ram! He was still trying to deny it. Person wey be say na for O. B. O bank I see am wear Mai guard uniform.[/i]

”Okay! You’re a banker ba?” I mocked stingingly and clapped my hands to stamp my words. By then, a crowd had begun assembling, just what I felt I needed to humilate him completely.

By now, it seemed he had begun getting my hang as his eyes showed signs of moistening immediately and his voice became tender and quiet. ”Pleas, lets discuss this inside, as a family that we are!” he pleaded, almost going down on his knees.
I knew that was my chance and I took it, “Discuss ke? Discuss what? What family’re you talking about?” I shrilled out. ”Please Sweedie!” he begged again.

Please ko, please ni! My heart mocked. I, a certified lagos girl! I might be asked to present my husband at an occassion at any time, [i]Na this one I go carry go? Olohun maje![/i] “Think of Tolu, think of the beautiful days we spent together!” he continued.
”What Tolu! She’s at my Mum’s place already. Do what you think!” I bellowed, “and for your info, my new hobby’s coming soon. The C. E. O of your bank. Yeah your bank!” I added after he had chewed on my preceeding statement. His facial expression changed and I swear I could hear his heart thumping. What could be worse than that!

Now, don’t get me wrong! I’m not that wayward and ofcourse, I never had the boyfriend just today, I met him some months ago. He was the one I had even gone to visit when I caught Baba Tolu. Since I met him, he had been showering me goods and cash and I had allow him ‘eat’ me a few times. “What’s even keeping him long?” I yelled and made a show of calling him, though I didn’t. I had called him already and he told me he was on his way. I know he would be in his favorite red Lexus jeep.

Baba Tolu’s face was now looking very mewed and harmless. I was really angry with him but not cos he lied to me but rather, how he wasted my time for the past couple of years. Who would want a Mai guard for an husbandc men sha! Thank God we never had an official wedding.

“Pum pum pum,” I heard Bode’s car honked and a smile splitted my face. My guess was right, a red lexus jeep. It was far more better than Baba Tolu’s whose headlights were almost gone, even the paint don dey peel.
Baba Tolu had hurriedly faced the wall inorder to prevent My Bode to see his face, I guess.
“Hey Baby!” I ran upto him and gave him a hug, “lets leave quickly!” I added and carried two of my bags with each hands like a stranded village girl when I noticed his hesistation.

“Oya now!” I yelled at him and noticed he was starring at something after My back. I followed hios gaze and saw he and Baba Tolu were now on squares.

“Sikiru!” I heard Baba Tolu called out at him.
“Sir!” he answered. “You haven’t return the car?” Baba Tolu asked and My Bode-Sikiru merely nodded.

Irritably, I heard Baba Tolu & the onlookers thick mocking horrible Laughter.



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