A Story written by Austinblinks..
Igbo alaye is a village in Ori ire Local government area in Oyo state. 5 hours from Ibadan and sparsely populated.
Lanre had spent all night trying to read it up on the internet, looking for any information he could find on it but nothing comes up. Most navigation sites didn’t even know the town existed. It wasn’t on Google map either. The only thing Lanre found was a NYSC corper’s comment on site which reads “ I was posted to Igbo Alaye for my service….. it’s an amazing experience only if you abide by their rules ”
What rules??? Lanre thought to himself. What rules are there to abide to in a village that hardly know anything about civilization….
“ Baby, what are you doing??” Mary’s voice brought him back from oblivion. She moved close enough to see what he was reading.
“C’mon Lanre! You’re still reading bout this village ehn”
“I have to! I mean we can’t just decide to spend 3 nights in a place we know nothing about. Who decided we’re going there anyways….? ” Lanre asked
“I don’t know! Some guy.. uhmmm.. the class rep or whatever. “ Mary sighed. “ Baby, you are too uptight, relax and try to have fun sometimes Ok? Do you want a kiss???
Emma: Yessssss!! I want a kiss!!!
Mary looked at the door and hissed as she saw Emma!
Emma is Lanre’s best buddy in school, lousy, carefree and much of a trouble maker! He’s the type of guy that enters a room and every serious minded person walks out. If you are looking for someone to waste the whole of your day with, Emma comes to mind!
Emma: What is it Mary? Why did you do “mtchewww” at me?
Mary: It’s called “hissing” dummy!
Emma: i don’t want to know o. I entered and you “mtcheeww” at me. What did i do to you that you’re doing “mtcheww” at me??? If i now do my own “mtcheeww” at you and you reply with another “mtcheeww” it would be a serious issue because i will kill you with “mtcheeww” ni o
Mary: (sighs) i don’t have your time Emma!
Emma: Hahaha.. ok o. So what’s up? Are you guys ready for the camping tomorrow?
Mary: Oh Gosh! Are you going too? Who sold you the ticket sef??
Emma: Look at you! I have my ways girl! Haha….Lanre! Why you quiet as if you sh*t for body? Den use charm hit you ni?
Lanre: Idiot! Just trying to browse about the village.
Emma: Goodluck finding that village on Google. Anyways…. I’m going with the class rep to go arrange for transportation, we’re getting a 30-seater luxurious bus.
Lanre: 30-seater? Wait are we that much???
Mary: I told you baby, people are excited about this!
Lanre: Well…. I’m starting to feel better about it then.
Emma said goodbye and left the room and Mary was out of sight too. He had lied, he’s not feeling better about the camp. Lanre has always been a sceptic and that has gotten him out of a whole lot of troubles. He just knew something about the camp doesn’t feel right. He rested his back on the chair and continued with is phone. On the google search box he type “ gods and goddesses in Igbo Alaye village, Oyo state” he clicked search
Moji: so…. we have 16 males and 12 females making a total of 28 people…. uhmm….we’ve bought rice, ingredients, yams.. what else???… meats and fishes…… ehn ehn…. Have you arranged stuffs for making tea???
She looked at Temmy was busy chatting on her phone and smiling…
Moji: (throws a pen at Temmy) Focus Temmy… Focus!!!
Temmy: (winced in pain) Ooouch! What now! I’m here jor
Moji: i said have you gotten the Tea ingredients??
Temmy: Yesssss! I have! Is that why you want to swallow me
Moji: Seriously, Temmy drop that your phone and pay attention. We have 28 people to feed for 2 and a half days.
Temmy: Take it easy jor! Daniel is telling me something ni.
Moji: hmmm…. you and that your Daniel ehn. I’m telling you that guy is wasting your time, you are here claiming love.
Temmy Ignored her and continued chatting. Moji shook her head and checked her phone, she has been expecting a call from her mum. Last night she’d sent a text, informing her Mum of the camp and how she has been placed in charge of food preparation and kitchen duties . There’s nothing Moji loves to do more than cooking, she believes cooking is an art, the flavour, the colour, mixing and matching meant everything to her, she never gets tired of cooking.
Temmy, Moji’s friend on the other hand hates to cook, she would eat biscuits all day just to avoid cooking. She’s here to help her friend and most importantly to impress Daniel, her major crush. She has finally gotten his attention and when Daniel says he needs two ladies to handle the meal preparation at the camp, Temmy had excitedly volunteered.
Daniel: Guys! Moji and Temmy have bought the foodstuffs so i believe that aspect is settled then.
Timothy: Temmy?? You placed Temmy in charge of foods???? Are you out of your mind? Just say you want to kill us now o!
Uche: Ha-ha… Kill us ke? Why now? Shey Temmy cannot cook ni?
Daniel: She can cook!
Timothy: Yeeeeeh! Which Kain??? Uche no mind this guy o! The day Temmy came to our lodge and prepared rice for us ehn, We all sh*tted for at least 3 days! I was just going to the toilet every 30mins for a whole day.
Uche: Hahahaha…. what now? She put laxative ni?
Timothy: I don’t know o but i know in that rice, Oil was at one side, Maggi at another side…. you will now see the salt floating in the middle.
Uche & Daniel: Hahahahahahaa
Timothy: She now spoilt everything ehn….con add Onions and tomatoes…. Those ones con big like sey na cutlass she take dice am!
Uche: hahhaha. ..i don die!
Daniel: (laughing ) Ignore Timothy jor. It’s Moji that will prepare the meals not Temmy.
Timothy: That’s better! Tell the truth now, so i should write my will before going to the camp and eat Temmy’s food o! . Uche! Your Grandpa is still alive abi?
Uche: Yes. He’s 103 years! My grandpa no gree die
Timothy: Small thing. Give your grandpa Temmy’s food, i bet hin no go wake up the next day. As i don chop her food now, my life expectancy don reduce from 100 to 70 years. Na 30 years one single meal comot.
Both Daniel and Uche fell off their chairs laughing hard.
To Be Continued…