Must Read: The Kidnappers…


Written by Therock5555…

~Tuwo Village~

“Guy abeg no finish this garri because the way you dey rush am, you fit compete with Usain Bolt o” Mark said angrily as he picked up the plate of garri which they were drinking and gulped it all at once.

“Chai Mark you be bastards I swear, am sure na your mama grand mama wey been go thief meat from hunter trap nai make them curse una generation with poverty, see as you dey rush garri like goat” John teased him back.

“Shebi them say a friend of a thief, na thief him be? which means say the curse dey also flow for your bloodline too, Anuofia” Mark fired back.

“But wait o, how about the 5k wey we don get for kpon kpon work? Make we use am start business abi how you see am?”

“Na kwili kwili business abi chewing gum business we go do, money sef wey we use dey feed on nai you dey brag about. Them truly swear for you” Mark replied as he got up to lick the remaining garri particles of the plate. He believed that his tongue was greater than any sponge in this world.

“Broooossss, I don see vision” John suddenly said and jumped up to dance shoki startling Mark in the process who stared at him like a mad man.

“I think say na weed dey manifest untop people, abi garri sef don dey make person high? Wait o, shebi if person wan craze na garri them dey soak to make am well? Now wey garri don dey make person craze that means na sand sand nai person go chop to well abi? Bros abeg siddon na, no allow people to begin think say na Ebola symptoms don begin o” He warned his friend.

“Hehehe yeye boy, na new business idea wey just fling enter my head now sef, if you know how the idea good you for just follow me dey dance now” John replied and changed to skelewu dance steps.

“The only business wey I know wey you ever bring na that sugar cane business wey you convince me to do, you nearly make people burn us because them think say we be bokoharamist, abi which better idea fit enter this your head after you don carry 51 over 50 for class since wey you start school, infact your foolishness been too much sowtey the pikin wey dey your headmistress belly collect the last position from you” Mark teased him.

“Mehn na kidnapping business just enter my mind now now, na our jackpot to success be that” John answered calmly.

“Ehhhh bros now I know say garri dey refresh person brain like how ashawo dey change customers,  na where you keep this part of brain since, me sef no think about this idea sef. Oboy when we go start na, because I sure say na papa Ngozi chicken and goat you wan begin kidnap” Mark replied.

“You too dey joke jare, I meant real kidnapping business, we go kidnap big man children and ask for ransom” John replied seriously.

“Now I know say devil don dey use your brain play ludo, na who you wan kidnap for this village to get money? Abi you want make them swear for you?” Mark said angrily.

“Bros calm down, who say we go kidnap here, if say Wizkid been dey sing for inside him room or for birthday party you think say him for don become big musician today, mehn you gats to upgrade o, go in search of greener pastures….”

“Ehhhh wonders shall never end, John na which time your english teacher comot from grave wey your accent change, chai oya where we go start our kidnapping business now?” Mark asked.

“Now you are speaking my language, na Abuja we go base, when we kidnap one big man pikin and collect ransom then we go run go Lasgidi wether Banky W go fit sign us for him label” John explained.

“Label ko Babel Ni? Na for otapiapia bottle nai them go feature us, eg, we go wear big eyeglass then hold bottles of mosquito medicine dey rap for hold up abi, na there nai we go dey do our concerts” Mark mocked him.

“Chai na which kin goat wey I get as roommate, sha no be room mate, I go say hut mate. But guy serious na because if I make am and you come dey check me for house I go say make them tell you say I dey do collabo with Tyga o” John fired back.

“Oyana nothing spoil but incase you fail, you go take the blame o”

“Eh no problem I gree but if I succed then na 70-30% we go share o, you gree?”

“Yes o, I gree, and if police catch us and jugde sentece us to like 10years imprisonment, just know say I go spend 3 years while you spend 7 years o” Mark replied.

To Be Continued…

Next Episode
Updated: Nov 17, 2016 — 2:43 pm

The Author

Tosin SilverDam

Tosin Silver Dam, a mass communication graduate/BSc Holder, actor, ex publisher, publicist, writer and I rock things a lot #majah Email:, whatsapp: 08080664675, BBM: 5C350257

1 Comment

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  1. See mumu o, Lol

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