Written By Adebayo Luqman Adekunle Pesman (whattsapp: +2348065400006)

***MISSION: AGAMA/HE-LIZARD

HUNTING***

.

How can someone like me would be

throwing stone around the street, i done

finally ridicule myself, coconut head. I said

within myself

.

Me: Cnn how do i go about this agama lizard

hunting now? I don’t think i will be going

back to fayemi again o, i dashed him my

500naira (Dash mean a bribe or something

give out to an individual in 9ja pidgin

English)

.

Cnn: Pesman, don’t talk like that, we are in

this together, am with you this mission must

be effected

.

Me: What do we do now?

.

Cnn: Let go and search for it

.

Me: Ok boss

.

***We started searching for agama-lizard,

without knowing that my name at the end

would be “HAD I KNOW” we searched all the

area without seeing agama-lizard, we were

about to give up when i saw “Samuel”

Samuel was a little boy of 12years, he was

“Dan Bansha boy” (Dan Bansha means

“good for noting” in Hausa language

northern part of Nigeria).

Samuel was very stubborn boy in our area, i

had once suggested to his mother that she

should let him go to army boarding school

maybe he might changed, only God

knows***

.

Me: Samuel how far nah?

.

Samuel: Egbon pes i dey oh (Brother pes i’m

fine oh)

.

Cnn: Samuel Samuel, the only big boy i love

in this area, where are you going?

.

Samuel: Egbon Sahara reporter, A.I.T (A.I.T

AFRICAN INDEPENDENT

TELEVISION) or cnn,

whatever you nickname is, am going

nowhere, just dey playing in the street

.

Cnn: That’s my guy, ehn Samuel i have one

deal for you o

,

Samuel: Oya ejami si, sebi oro Lori owo ni?

(Tell me please, hope its matter of money?)

.

Cnn: Yes it is, we need agama-lizard

.

Samuel: Like how many, and how much are

you paying?

.

Me: Just only one and we will pay you

100naira for it

.

Samuel: **Cheerfulness** oya let the game

begin

***The three of us continued the searching

of forbidden meat (agama-lizard) suddenly

we

found three different agama_lizard we ran

after

them separately, i picked one heavily stone

and ran after the lizard, the lizard also ran

for its dear life, nobody wants to die, the

lizard climbed the wall of uncompleted

building.

I straight my hand i was ready to stone the

lizard.

beside the uncompleted building was

neatly parked Toyota camry car, i throw the

stone with all the mighty in me, but i was

unlucky.

Only God know what diverted the stone

from the

direction of lizard to direction of parked car,

the stone hitted the windscreen of the car

the

glass shattered everywhere, hmmmm “had i

know”***

.

Cnn: What is that?

.

Me: Cnn am in trouble, have mistakly broke

someone’s car glass

**He came to where i stood he saw the

glasses everywhere**

.

Me: What do we do now?

.

Cnn: Thank God nobody see you, we have to

run because we can’t afford to buy the glass

o.

Brother cnn and pesman where are you?

You should come here o, Have killed one

Samuel called on us, we walked to him,

carried the agama_lizard he just killed, cnn

wrapped it with Lynon, i gave Samuel

100naira as promised, we left the spot

without telling Samuel about the crime i just

committed.

————————-

10MINUTES LATER, FAYEMI’S

SHRINE

.

Baba here is the agama-lizard cnn said to

fayemi,

he dropped the lizard on the floor

.

Fayemi: Ekare, elo ma sere ni ita tobato asiko

mapeyin (Weldone, you should go and

playing outside when its time i will called

you)

.

**We went outside to play as instructed by

fayemi**

45min later fayemi called us, we walked in

.

Fayemi: Eku ori re, moti pari ise yin

(Congratulations have finished your work)

he gave me one small cup of cream

.

Fayemi: You will be rubbing it all over your

body after you take your bath in the

morning, women will be running after you

.

Cnn/Me: Thank you sir **I brought out

another 500naira note from my pocket gave

him and left his shrine.

On our way home my phone rang, i checked

who was the caller, same person noni,

Dupe**

.

Me: Hello love

.

Dupe: Pesman weldone oo

.

Me: what did i do?

.

Dupe: i don’t have much airtime on my

phone, just want to tell you i’m on my way

to lagos, my mummy called me to come, its

an urgent call, i will be back in the next

3 days times bye

**she hanged up, Thank God the

monitoring spirit have travelled, i will be able

to execute my project**

.

I didn’t sleep in CNN house that day because

i want to rub the cream as early as possible

in the morning so i went to my room to

sleep.

Early the next day i woke as early as 4:30am

took my bath rubbed the women spiritual

cream all over my flesh by 5:15am i was

done, i put on black jean and white hacket

polo with white sneaker, i put my phone

inside my pocket, ready for the first woman

to approach me.

A knock sounded on my door. who could be

knocking my door by this time of the day?

first victim I guessed. I moved closed to the

door and opened it, i was

shocked with who i saw, standing before

me was Samuel, his mother, two police men

and one young man that i never met before.

You are under arrest, one of the police said

to me.

.

HAD I KNOW I WOULDN’T

EMBARKED ON AGAMA-

LIZARD HUNTING

.

To Be Continued…

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